The nth time,

This is the nth time that I have wanted to lose weight, I don’t know if anyone else out there is in situation that I have here,

It s hard to believe that spring will be here soon , as you boil in the spring and summer but you refuse to take your cardigen or what ever you are hidden behind off,

and I am sad that the winter gonna be over soon, I will miss my jackets and coats, they are doing a great job with hiding my tummy and my floppy arms,

 hmmm,,,

I am sitting here at my local starbucks, try to study but the only thing that I am concentrating on is how my tummy looks from the sides, so I put my jacket back on, and pretend that its so cold in here, I am flushing from the heat, but..:(

I have the knowledge; I know everything about losing weight,

I have a gym in my condo,

I have the money to buy the healthy food,

and I have the time,

so I am either that stupid to not change my life after 15 years of being the chubby one, or I am not that sad about my body,

I am sure is not the second one, cause I hate hate hate how I feel about my body,

So this is the nth time that I attempt to change my life,

I only wish for a friend, partner or someone who can only feel my pain,